But there won't be an Easter box this year, because she passed away yesterday.
It is impossible for me to convey what Nana meant to me or how much I love her. She had been unmarried since long before I was born, and my brother Wayne and I were her only grandchildren. She lived less than two miles from us growing up, and we saw her all the time. She came on many family vacations with us, came to all our recitals, concerts, and games, made our birthday cakes every year, and on and on. Wayne and I even had our own bedrooms in her three bedroom house - that's how often we slept over. We'd go to the beach and collect seaglass. She'd take us to a little pond in a park and we'd catch tadpoles. I spent hours and hours playing Yahtzee on her kitchen table, and Rummy in a cabin we rented in Bar Harbor, Maine many summers. Whenever we slept over at Nana's house, I'd get to take a "play bath" where I could use as much bubbles as I wanted, and it didn't matter how long I stayed in or if I even got clean. I'd put on one of Nana's big t-shirts as a nightgown and crawl up on the couch next to her to watch Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy. I still get a smile on my face and think of my Nana and the warmth of her home when I hear the Wheel of Fortune theme music. In the morning we'd climb into her big bed and she would read us stories, or we would just watch the birds on the pine tree branches outside the window. Cardinals were her favorite.
Mike and I had already bought our plane tickets to go out to Connecticut in May. One of the main reasons we were going was to see Nana again, and because Rachel has never met her. Instead we'll be going to her service and to be there as her ashes are scattered at sea, like she wanted. "Sad" isn't a strong enough word to say how I feel as I mourn her. But my grief is tempered by my knowledge and testimony of the reality of eternal life. I will see my Nana again, just not for a long time. I miss her, but I know that her spirit still lives. Nana wasn't religious, but that doesn't change the truth of these things. The peace the gospel brings is truly amazing, it is a healing balm on my broken heart.
And in a way, I can smile through my sadness too because of the joy that my memories of her bring me. She knew about us and our lives in a way that most grandparents never do, and loved us with a love that I don't think many grandkids have known. And we, in turn, adored her. Since Wayne and I were her only grandkids, and because she was single, we were her closest family.
And how lucky we were.
Nana about to go white water rafting on our trip to Alaska. She had always wanted to go to Alaska and go rafting, and being 70 years old was not about to stop her!
Front of a card I made when I was eight
The inside
Nana and I in Alaska
8 comments:
I'm so sorry, Mary. You know I know how you feel... It's been 9 years and I still miss her. She was a wonderful person.
I'm so sorry! What a great tribute to her.
Mary, I understand your feeling of loss and the thoughts of the wonderful moments in the future which will feel a little lonely with someone missing. The memories you shared about your Nana remind me of my Grandma Ruby. We used to spend a week every summer staying with her letting our imaginations run wild. She bought sugar cereal for us whenever we came knowing we didn't get it at home, always had a bird on her mantle and every birthday card, and was the epitome of the plump doting grandma. She died when I was pregnant with Christian and living in PR. Thankfully, I was able to fly home for the service.
One thing that gave me, and still gives me comfort is the thought of our sweet guardian angel watching over our family and especially her great-grandkids with her loving heart.
What a special post. We lost Doug's Grandma about a year ago and it was really hard. You are so right about the gosple and the comfort that it brings. And something that we are excited about is doing Doug's Grandma's work soon. Maybe you could do that for yours someday. So sorry for your loss. I hope you feel better.
I'm so sorry about your loss. I was very close to my grandparents growing up as well, and losing one of them is like losing a parent for most people. It's such a peaceful feeling to have the gospel!
I'm so sorry for your loss. She sounds like an incredible lady, I'm sure she would love this post.
I'm sorry to hear about your grandma! What a sweet post to her though.
Mary, we love you and we're thinking of you. It's too bad your Nana didn't get to meet Rachel, but we know she's watching your little family and you'll see her again someday. She sounds like a terrific grandmother.
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